The definitively and pseudo-scientifically ranking of every real housewife cast member in the past and present in every cast. Yes, even Quinn. They enter the gauntlet and here is how they were judged. Agree? Disagree? Well, tell me in the comments below.

  1. Carole Radziwill (NYC): Smart, a real journalist, understated and snarky—she's in on the joke.I love her. She's someone I admire, rather than tolerate. That's a rarity in the world of reality television.

    REAL HOUSEWIVES CAST RANKED

  2. Kandi Burruss (Atlanta): Legitimate music career, she seems to be less full of drama and bullshit that most housewives and makes sex toys
  3. Sonja Morgan (NYC): Funny and exhibitionistic. Genuinely fun and funny.
  4. Phaedra Parks (Atlanta): She does such special shit with big hats, choreographed dances, Lemon Squeeze and her son is named Mr. President. I love you Phaedra.
  5. Lisa Vanderpump (Beverly Hills): She brought us Vanderpump Rules, was in ABC Videos and is snarky and yummy.
  6. Dina Manzo (New Jersey): Smarter and with better taste than the rest. Despite her friendship with Teresa, generally drama free and fun.
  7. Lea Black (Miami): She has a marvelous voice, is confident and over all the bs.
  8. Yolanda Foster (Beverly Hills): At first she seemed pretentious but is generally no-nonsense and honest.
  9. Catherine Ommanney (DC): The only person Andy Cohen liked on that season. No one in the history of the franchise is better at the snark than she is. Criminally underutilized.
  10. Jeana Keough (OC):Despite her terrible politics, jerky kids and being on that annoying workout show, I liked her. Plus ZZ TOP!
  11. Heather DuBrow (Beverly Hills): She can be a bit prim and proper but most of the time, she's ok. Has a decent amount of self-awareness.
  12. Heather Thomson (NYC): HOLLA! Always has Carole's back.
  13. Alex McCord (NYC): I've always been an Alex apologist. Love her and her weirdo husband.
  14. Nene Leakes (Atlanta): She's funny and smart but fame has made her jerkier.

    REAL HOUSEWIVES CAST RANKED

  15. Camille Grammar (Beverly Hills): Terrible her first season, better the second and third. Always seems like she is on Benzodiazepines.
  16. Lydia McLaughlin (Orange County): Funny and maybe a bit silly. A little too much of a Jesus Unicorn.
  17. Bethenny Frankl (NYC): I mean, I liked her but fuck, she is loud.
  18. Alexia Echevarria (Miami): Sometimes can be a jerk and maybe a little overdramatic but mostly seems like a dedicated mom.
  19. Stacie Scott Turner (DC): Seemed fairly smart and interesting but underused because DC.
  20. Brandi Glanville (Beverly Hills): I liked you so much more before you turned on Lisa Vanderpump
  21. Kenya Moore (Atlanta): Evil and petty and hates Phaedra but gains points for being Machiavellian. She may be evil but she's an evil genius.
  22. Joanna Krupa (Miami): She's so pretty. Swoon. Pretty. I'm so superficial.
  23. Jacqueline Laurita (New Jersey): Poor Jacqueline, she just can't stop crying.
  24. Porsha Williams (Atlanta): The Jacqueline Laurita of the Atlanta cast.
  25. Ramona Singer (NYC): Just watching her makes me exhausted. Best feature is her friendship with Sonja. No one should like Pinot Grigio that much. It's like like she's drinking a Syrah.
  26. Tammy Knickerbocker (Orange County): Nice but OC Energy Drinks.
  27. Cynthia Bailey (NYC): Damn, your husband sucks.
  28. Shereè Whitfield (Atlanta): I was always ashamed of the fact that I didn't hate Sheree as much as everyone else, even though her fashion line was terrible. The name was amazing. I want to name everything She by Sheree.
  29. Joanna Krupa (Miami): She's so pretty. Swoon. Pretty. I'm so superficial. And I've heard that she's a superstar in Poland.
  30. Kristen Taekman (NYC): You are new and funny and I haven't had time to hate you yet.

    REAL HOUSEWIVES CAST RANKED

  31. Marysol Patton (Miami): You were only cast because Andy thinks your mom is funny. You seems ok but you don't have a real storyline, especially after that unfortunate breakup.
  32. Kyle Richards (Beverly Hills): You'd be much more likeable if you weren't so obsessed with Lisa Vanderpump. I mean, damn, you were in Halloween.
  33. Caroline Manzo (New Jersey): You are more proud of your kids than they deserve.
  34. Kimberly Bryant (Orange County): I remember your boobs and your vague pleasantness.
  35. Larsa Pippen (Atlanta): You threw a few nice parties and were married to Scottie Pippen. Other than that, meh. recast. Not offensive though.
  36. Christy Rice (Miami): You laughed alot. That was nice.
  37. Lisa Wu-Hartwell (Atlanta): I thought you seemed nice. I could have stood to see you around for a few seasons but you were gone and replaced by Cynthia.
  38. Kathy Wakile (New Jersey): Nice Kids. Terrible Husband. Shut up Richie.
  39. Lisa Hochstein (Miami): I found you frustrating but there was some depth there. You know? Was I imagining that?

    REAL HOUSEWIVES CAST RANKED

  40. Joyce Giraud de Oboven (Beverly Hills): I like aspects of you—good and direct with that vaguely European husband but sometimes your accusations were reaching.
  41. Shannon Beador (Orange County): You are too new for me to really know much about you and you have weird ideas about cellphones but mostly you seem ok.
  42. DeShawn Snow (Atlanta): Sorry you got cut. You were dull
  43. Luann DeLesseps (NYC): You are beautiful but seriously, you are an asshole. You hated on both Carole and Alex? REALLY? And allied with Jill. Ugh, 43 might be too good for you. But you have good fashion sense.
  44. Melissa Gorga (New Jersey): The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
  45. Gretchen Rossi (Beverly Hills): I liked you more before you started dating with Slade. So did America.
  46. Karent Sierra (Miami): She's certainly perky! And tense!
  47. Lynda Erkiletian (DC): Lol, your career was a fraud but a mildly credible one.

    REAL HOUSEWIVES CAST RANKED

  48. Adriana De Moura (Miami): Damnit, Adriana, there are moments that I liked you but really sometimes you should just stop you. Especially with Lea. It's bullshit. Total Bullshit.
  49. Peggy Tanous (Orange County): You slept with Alexis's husband once. I enjoyed that fight.
  50. Lynne Curtin (Orange County): You usually just seemed high.
  51. Tamra Judge (Orange County): Cut rate Ramona.
  52. Kim Richards (Beverly Hills): You peaked during Escape to Witch Mountain

  53. Kim Zolciak (Atlanta): I took Nene's side.
  54. Carlton Gebbia (Beverly Hills): Your kids have stupid names and you made me sympathize with Kyle. KYLE.
  55. Quinn Fry (Orange County): Roxy, 'nuff said.
  56. Ana Quincocoes (Miami): Smart, thoughtful and maybe just a bit too boring.
  57. Mary Schmidt Amons (DC) Forgettable cast person from a forgettable show.
  58. Jo De La Rosa (Orange County): Slade is worse than Roxy with the added cache of a failed music career.

    REAL HOUSEWIVES CAST RANKED

  59. Adrienne Maloof (Beverly Hills): You were passably okay during your first season when you just hated your husband but when you went aggro on Lisa, well then, you just had to leave. Also, you dated Sean Stewart.
  60. Vicki Gunvalson (Orange County): I mean, she has a real career and her daughter is great—I should like her more but WOOHOO, SHUT UP VICKI!
  61. Kelly Killoren Bensimon (New York): Satchels of Gold
  62. Lauri Peterson (Orange County): I question your parenting skills. Also, you made me sympathize with Vicki because you were so much more odious.
  63. Aviva Drescher (New York City): Don't mess with my girl, Carole.
  64. Alexis Bellino (Orange County): You make Jesus look bad.
  65. Danielle Staub (New Jersey): You made me watch Danny Provezano far more than I ever desired.
  66. Michaeli Salahi (DC): You were kind of an epic troll but then you married Neal Schon.
  67. Jill Zarin (NYC): Shut up, Jill.
  68. Teresa Guidice (New Jersey): There is a large dark hole where your soul should be.
  69. Cindy Barshop (New York): You are the worst. Literally the worst.

ETA: DC was cancelled after its first season. Miami apparently has just been cancelled most likely. The rest are still going strong with OC, Atlanta and NYC all being currently on Bravo.